Friday, December 30, 2011

The passage of time

Ah, the clock is ticking down on The Year Twenty Eleven.  The media is full of articles and video reflecting on the events of twelve months gone by.  Soon, we will have to re-train ourselves to write "12" instead of "11" on anything we need to date.  Ah, the passage of time.

Our own personal passage of time has been a genuine tribulation these past few days.  We wish the time would pass faster.  Alas, is seems to be mired in molasses. Each day seems much longer than a normal day.  Our own sense of the passage of time is becoming rather blurred this week.  However, time does indeed pass and that is a good thing indeed.

We began the cleanup of Mom's house early Monday morning.  So far, we have filled five dump trucks with stuff destined for the landfill.  We do not know how many more such trucks it will take to eventually clean out her place.  It could be two.  It could be yet five more.  We know not.  We wear an expensive respirator, industrial rubber gloves, irrigator boots and a tyvek suit to work each day.  What we look like at the end of the day is not a pretty sight.  There's no way to sugar coat the passage of our own time.  We and our two Angel helpers work hard and long each day. We do not even break for lunch and rarely even stop for a break of any kind.  Most of our communication is hand signals because it's so tough to talk when wearing a respirator.  Thumbs up or down, index finger pointing here or waving there.  It's a lot like traffic control at a busy construction site.  The trash hauler says we've been billed at the dump for almost 6,000 pounds of stuff so far.  To say that it is heartbreaking to see the detritus of a life disappear in this manner is a vast understatement.  The three of us have become rather hardened by the work we have done this week.  It has all become somewhat of a strange blur as stuff slurries past our eyes toward the truck parked outside.
I wish I could write a blog post about a cheery topic of some sort.  There's just really no way to describe what's going on each day at her place.  It is a grueling job. It is the toughest task I've ever faced both from a physical and a mental standpoint.  I arrive home each night completely and thoroughly exhausted.  A couple of days ago, both a ladder and I fell to earth together onto the asphalt driveway.  Luckily, I didn't break anything but am nursing a sprained shoulder, wrist and thumb as well as a very bruised hip.  Those aches and pains exacerbate each day's work.  They add a whole new spin to my daily challenge to "stand & deliver."  At some point, the intensity of this phase will begin to ebb.  We will be taking New Year's Eve afternoon "off" as well as most of New Year's Day.  My Friend who took me shooting Christmas Day had offered to take me again on New Year's morning.  That's a bright spot to look forward to.  Meanwhile, Sweetie Susun has been there in spirit, text, email, and on the phone to try to keep my spirits functioning.  Without her energy beaming my way, it would be impossible to make it through this phase.  Thank You, Sweetie!  I do not wish to dwell on what we have done this week and what we still face in the days ahead.  It is what it is. There is nothing we can do except slog forward through whatever circumstances loom in this dark tunnel. We all like to remind each other about the light at the end of the tunnel.   I can't yet see that light with my own eyes but my faith that the light exists as well as loving reminders from Susun about that light's existence keep me going.  We won't be posting any more about all of this but we thought you have probably been wondering "whazzup" back here.  Well, now you know.  We promise our next post and each and every post to follow will be back on the positive track and filled with fun.  We may be at a very low ebb now, but we won't be here long.  We will be back out there in the sunny, flower-filled meadow together with Mary Poppins & Sweetie Susun singing "The Sound of Music" soon.  No doubt about it!

Have a great day & Many Cheers, jp

1 comment:

Wayne Ranney said...


Do not worry about being too negative. We enjoy reading about what you are going through and I'm sure it's cathartic for you to write. You are a writer and storyteller. We do not need to laugh at your every word, we can cry with you too. Just know you are loved and that we are there with you in spirit! Your love, Susun, waits for you and we in Arizona do too. Carry on brave friend, love,