About 6 pm tonight I was watching our neighbor to the west. There was this frisky black cat on her porch. It sure looked like it belonged there. Meanwhile, our neighbor Danielle took off for parts unknown, leaving the little cat outside. Hum....
This chain of events immediately got me into a Black Cat Chain of Thought. Now, Class, if YOU happened to see a Black Cat in distress, what would YOU do? Would you leave it alone because of cultural prejudice about black cats? Would you assume the cruel attitude that the cat should freeze to death because it wasn't part of your life's responsibility? What would YOU do?
Well, I chose the high road and ignored the color of the cat's fur. I decided to lace up my boots and put on my Paul Bunyan outfit and go over and have a chat-to-cat with this wayward creature.
The cat sat serenely on a porch step and didn't move a cat whisker as I approached. I told it, "Hey, you, CAT, you sit still and let's have a talk, OK?" And the cat obeyed. I reached out and petted it and it nodded politely in acceptance. Then I proceeded to tell the cat this: "Living outside in the snow is NOT a good idea, Cat, you really need to go through the open door when the door opens, do you understand that?"
So, the little Black Cat, gets up and proceeds to do that patented "cat number" where they wag their little tail and rub their scent glands on your pant leg. Naturally, I thought that was a typically quaint "cat move." So I continued to talk to the feline and tell it all sorts of Tales of Woe about misbehaving and staying outside. Then, I went up (on a hunch) and opened out neighbor's front door wide to the warm inside. The little Black Cat contemplated the warn innards of the house and practically leaped in the opposite direction--straight into the cold snowy dark of night. Cats.
So, I closed the door and waited for the Black Cat to come back for some heart-to-heart conversation. I told it that its decision wasn't real smart and that it might not even live overnight to realize the stupidity of its decision. The cat yawned and licked its fur. So, then I gave the cat my parting shot, "Hey, I tried to save your Black Cat butt but you ignored me. I did my best and now your future is up to you, DUDE!" I walked into the street and the Black Cat walked to the edge of the sidewalk and we stared each other down.
I pointed a finger in that Cat's steely black eyes and I said, "Don't you dare follow me across this street!" The Black Cat turned and romped atop a snow drift, swishing its defiant tail in gallant glory.